Vipassana-, My Journey;

Every day morning the notice board used to welcome us with a message, which day we were entering into with daily quote and that day instructions. The day was 10th day it said. I couldn’t believe that I managed to complete 10 days of Vipassana. This day is when we were ending our SADHANA of Vipassana, breaking our silence etc. Everyone says live in present but from day 1 my mind was running 🏃 to see day 10. I guess I have long way to learn to live in present. 

Here is my story of Vipassana.

I am fortunate to visit Shri Neem Karoli Baba place Kainchi dham in Uttarakhand on March 14 2021. That time I didn’t realise what’s happening with me and felt that it may be another person visit to another temple. But at the same time they say it’s when Gods decide to see you then you visit him but we think otherwise. I am yet to write blog on him so will share his magic in coming soon blog of Maharaji. I’ve completed 2 day’s of visit and while coming back bought 2 books from the temple, Miracle of love

by Ram Das and few others. I’ve started reading once I was back and in middle of the book somewhere he mentioned that Maharaji used to send his western followers to Nepal to do Gonekas Vipassana. That was my first introduction to Vipassana. I didn’t knew much then and thought may be some spritual course and didn’t dwell much on it. Then down the line from Maharajis guru parivar member (Harry) she mentioned about Vipassana which she did she said and suggested me to attend too. Second time I was hearing about Vipassana which prompted me to do some research on it and got to know about the course. I thought I should try but ended up procrastinating every time I wanted to register since it was 10 day course, where in I have to leave my family stay there, no mobile and need to be silent. I used to get enough reasons to procrastinate every other time. I used to think world will stop if I am not there for 10 days with my family etc. Knowing that nothing stops for anyone. 

In mid of August 2024, of those regular sleep less night started thinking of Vipassana and how I am postponing rather than jumping in it. So next day googled it and went to the website https://www.dhamma.org/en/index  looked for suitable dates and place and assuming it will be one of those deserted courses and I will get the registration easily but for astonishment Bengaluru course was booked in advance until October 2024 it said. Until then I was wondering I was the only one who’s swimming in the pool of miserable life. Then checked for near by places. The lady on phone suggested me to go to Andhra Pradesh 220 km but I was not ok with it so checked other places in Karnataka. Two places were available it said, Mysore was available , which I wanted to  but course was starting in September 04 2024 but then I was feeling edgy already and didn’t wanted to do two 10 days courses by waiting for 10 days for it. Another place was Davanagere was open and course was stating on August 24 2024 which I thought good deal so booked and got confirmation too on the same day. So I had 4 days to go. I didn’t know how to tell my wife who didn’t know V of Vipassana. I knew my parents will say ok but I knew it will be challenging to convincing my the wife. Finally gathered all the courage and told them about it etc. My dad was happy to hear it and my mom looks said do whatever you want and any way you don't listen and she kept her self silent. Wife gave me confused look which said indirectly that am I done with her! Am I renouncing the world! Even though he is but why he isn’t talking about Krishna/ Vrindavan! Do I alone have take care of his parents and kids! Etc etc. Eventually she asked me more questions then expected and it was like mini Vipassana by the time I convince her to come to an agreement. I will give vote of thanks at the end. After all the credits goes to her. At same time I was nervous too. Finally the night has arrived where in next day early morning I had train to catch. Couldn’t sleep on that night. Morning woke up and got in to train and then realisesd: that I will be completing the course for sure. Until then I was in two minds.

On 24th August 2024 @ 10.30am I have reached Davanagere. The place was 18km away from the city so before anything I thought let me  eat Benne Dose and enjoy the moments whatever I have left, as if I was going in to some rehabilitation. Dose was not great and teaste like rehab food. It wanted me to prepare myself I guess for upcoming storm. Then I reached the place as per their clear instructions. It looked isolated place in the fields and near by hillside. I went little early and got ready myself but then realised people were yet to come so cherished mobile for bit then they said at 8pm the course will start.

By that time all 24 people came and remaining 6 didn’t make it , I was thinking how lucky they are then. By seeing remaining 24 people, I was consoling myself that I am not the only one. They asked to hand over our valuables and mobile, some how I was excited to handover the mobile and curious to see what happens to life without having a mobile. They said from 8pm onwards our Silence started and I liked being silent and didn’t like talking much so felt this part must be easy. We finished that day of meditation for 30 minutes or so and went to our room and tried sleeping. At 9.30pm sleeping is like joke for me. I would be having dinner I was saying my self and forget about sleeping. Sleep was not coming anywhere near to me. But then I had to get up next day at 4am in the morning so tried sleeping. By the time my roommate turned of the fan which I am used while sleeping. But of air circulation helped me and little noice of the fan made me sleep I guess. Instantly I was wide awake. But quickly realised I can’t talk and say anything to him and felt like my roommate was feeling cold. I was like damn it. So decided to adjust, after all that was another test to pass. So all 10 days I slept without fan. My be I slept around 12am or so and by the time I felt like I shut my eyes I heard bell sound like gong for 12 times(some one said later it rings for 12 times). Then I was like let the suffering begin. I went to do toilet and my system was wth is wrong with you , it’s just 4am and we are sleeping and don’t expect us to get up till 9am or so. I said ok and went to take bath. I like cold shower but at 4 am never had one so but then had get rid of drowsiness so bathed and felt the freshness. Got ready and went to Dhamma hall to do meditation from 4.30am to 6.30am and to my surprise I liked and sat for whole 2 hours without getting up but had to change positions etc. I was thrilled to complete 2 hours meditation. First day they ask you concentrate on your breathing which was difficult to me since I practiced the meditation which taught not to concentrate while meditating and I always took back support while meditating and hardly 30 or 40 minutes max I must have meditated and it was always used to be guided meditation which means of using mobile. Here for my surprise they left me on our own with just a technique and they asked us sit without taking any back support so it was my out of comfort zone so it was very difficult. But completing 2 hours on 1st day was felt like bonus. Next up is 6.30 to 8am is breakfast and break for morning routine. Breakfast at 6.30am was strange but then felt hungry so ate happily. Then from 8am to 9am was meditation. Here I started feeling pain in the back but some how managed. 

So here is the schedule in short for entire 10 days:

4am wake up

4.30 am to 6.30 am meditation 

6.30am to 8am breakfast and break

8am to 9am meditation

9.20am to 11am meditation 

11am to 12am lunch 

12pm to 1pm break

1pm to 2.10pm meditation 

2.20pm to 3.30pm meditation 

3.40pm to 5pm meditation 

5pm to 6pm teak break with light snacks 

6pm to 7pm meditation 

7.20pm to 8.30pm discourse by Shri Goenka 

8.30pm to 9pm meditation 

9pm to 9.30pm questions hours session by teacher

9.30pm lights off .

By the end of 1 day I was holding by back and others walking style was changed completely. I could see their suffering. We are not used to sitting on the ground so it didn’t matter how fit one is or flexible, thin, thick etc. Every one was suffering. It looked like physical pain but it was mixed with mental pain.

I thought I will sleep nicely since the day was hectic but sleep didn’t come near me, after all sleeping late was life time habit.

Same routine started from 2nd day. They say either on 2nd day or 6th day people will run away. I thought I will run away  and thought many will do the same. But then realised regret will be the bigger pain than this pain so decided endure with this pain and continue the same. 

Slowly the medication and techniques started to take control. So started enjoying the same. Churning did start happening in terms memories and pains. Physical pain mixed mental pain is deadly and that’s how mental pain comes to surface I guess. They teach this technique of Aniccha= Impermanence, meaning no pain or emotion will remain forever, they come and go and we just need to observe it leave it. The pain and emotions did start going away slowly. 

For first 3 days time was stand still. I felt like I am just moving around and rest is standing still. While eating I could count 20+ time of chewing and observe the ants who were running around, slowly started feeding them to see how they react etc. But mind was running away to see 10th day all the time so I was feeling restless. They say live in present etc but the mind was constantly running away. But then only thing which helped me to go back to was meditation and rest all other things didn’t help, including sleeping or resting or walking which we used to a lot since that was the only activity which was allowed. Slowly started realising that being inside is better than going outside so always used to back to meditating. 

Every 2nd day they used to teach different technique of meditation which used to help to get excited but other days used to get bored. By the time we reached 5th day mark, all the pains started vanishing and people started walking normally. Time stated moving slowly too so that was the sign that mind has accepted this way of living. My mind still ran to 10 day here and there but mostly it didn’t. I have decided to un learn whatever I have learnt before coming here so that helped to understand this technique. But slowly I could see others are coming to conclusion and getting distracted. Few guys gave up and stayed just for the heck of it. I guess they were expecting some miracles to happen which didn’t for them but more than that from 6th day majority of them lost interest in it and concluded. So they started talking to each other and sharing experiences etc which they said did not help us to understand this technique. But then few were serious about it which helped me to get motivated and be on the path which the path chose me. 

Breakfast, lunch was Satvik food. Quantity of the was not restricted but they said 1/4th of the stomach should be empty so that meditation can happen smoothly. I liked the overall food and enjoyed eating at different timings. 

I am not too sure if I can share the technique but in short I will share. First is concentrating on your breath which helps one’s mind to become sensitive so that one can observe sensations in one’s body. Second is Vipassana where in one will scan the entire body to observe sensations. Third is metta Bhava which spreading love to all. 

Finally the day 10 arrived which I wanted to eagerly. They said from 10am we can break the silence. We finished all the meditation here came the time to break the silence. I was not too sure how to and for me being silent is easy rather. But then I lived with these people for 10 days so knew them mostly without knowing them. So went out started taking to each on e of them. We spoke as if we know each others from ages. We bonded instantly. We spoke so much that we didn’t knew what we ate that day. Otherwise we knew each and every damn thing what we are putting into our mouth. Time was running like racing car. We didn’t get enough time I felt. Mean time we had to do remaining meditations so we did complete that day of meditation. They said film time in the evening. They showed this documentary about Vipassana which happened in Tihar jail. It was the heaviest I felt in 10 days. Felt like prisoners are in the prison and wanting to come out of bothe physically and mentally but I was feeling I am coming out of mental prison. I saw few of us were crying outside and from inside. I wanted to cry badly too but then documentary got over. Someone said we are all prisoners of our own mind. 

By the way on the same day in the afternoon we have got our mobiles. I didn’t feel excited at all. I didn’t check for some time and got involved with book exhibitions etc. By then I received a call from my spouse. Instant irruption from her side , this  and that and this but I was somewhere else. Realised that 10 day dream has ended and it welcome call from the reality. 

We were supposed complete that night there and complete 11th day morning meditation. Morning 2 hour meditation was bliss there. One will start in the dark at 4.30am, slowly birds starts singing chirping and there was small hill near by where in peacocks lived. There good morning message used come and slowly you could feel day breaking in and observe the increase of nature noise. By the time fresh steam of breakfast used hit my nose so that means it’s 6ish am and finish the meditation with morning mantra in plai language or stotra was bilss. 

So we finished 11th day of Vipassana and cherished one last 6.30 am breakfast and said good bye to everyone one. 

This is going to be once in life time experience of learning the 25 century old techniques by Gautama The Buddha. The course is free so everyone should give it a try. Hoping to do more courses if my wife allowed me to. She has already threatened me that she’ll leave me if I go again like this so hope Gauthama show mercy on me and creates opportunity again. After it’s all his play and I am just a player. 

 Here are some pics which I will cherish for life..

It’s newly started so still under construction..

    

Room where I stayed..

Excellent view from the room..

Dining hall

My assigned place.. 22

Dining area

Pics after concluding the Vipassana 

Me eating..

Can you see me..

Happy faces after 11 day of mental surgery.. I went to clean the Dhamma hall so missed..

All are eager go out..

So true

Most of them were young under 30s..

Me after 11th day.. bought books..

बुद्धं शरणं गच्छामि। Buddham saranam gacchami I go to the Buddha for refuge धर्मं शरणं गच्छामि। Dhammam saranam gacchami I go to the Dhamma for refuge संघं शरणं गच्छामि। Sangham saranam gacchami I go to the Sangha for refuge.

Be happy 
ಮಂಗಳ'ವಾಗಲಿ

PK.. 

Guru Vandana- St John School- Gadag- 1996 batch;

 Let me come to the point directly;

We were having B section class only group and we were able to manage two successful get to gathers. Some friends from A section asked that why did they didn't get the invite. We were not having answers to give them since it was only meant for B class which haunted me. 

I write on and off(blog), run etc and I wanted platform to publish it to the all the classmates. Hoping few will get the motivation etc. Hence thought of combining both B class and A class. I didn't knew how much it will be successful, but started forming the group and adding friends whom I knew. Matter of time we reached around 100 friends in the group which was achievement in itself. But didn't post anything which I wanted. Then thought came what to do with this now since its been long that we haven't seen each other and only few has connection with each other. We started brainstorming with closed group which I have like Sanju, jaggu, bhanapur, motagi etc.. They suggested we should do Guru Vandana since we haven't done it and most of them have done already. I thought great idea but was not too sure how successful it will be but thought of giving it a try. Worst scenario, even if we like closed ones like 10 to 15 friends get to gather and celebrating our teachers was also felt great thing. So pitched this idea in the group. Its been decades that we didn't interact with each other hence expected lots of different ideas will come, difference of opinion , lots egos will also come. But we had to get through all this and come to common ground and do this GV. After lots of discussion and arguments we have decided to do it in St John school. 

Fortunately all the girls too started joining hands and encouraged us to do this and helped in whatever way they could. We formed different sub groups to manage food, finance etc and assigned it each one of us. Since most of were out stationed and helpless of not being on the ground to do the real work, so we decided do share major burden of the work on few friends like Sanju, jaggu etc. It was mutually agreed and they assured they don't mind taking the major load of the work so our guilt has become less of not doing major work. After all the major discussions, we started collecting the money without it then function wouldn't have been successful. We decided how much each one have to contribute etc. Fortunately few came in and contributed majority of the amount and without which this wouldn't  have possible the way it has happened. Always thankful for the generosity of our friends and them having feeling of giving back to the school was higher thought. We managed to collect decent amount to think that we can do this GV. We started implementing the plans on to the ground. Slow and steady on by one work started to materialise. Time flies they say and the date of GV has arrived. After lots of tensions, lots of breakdowns we were able to see the day arriving to us. Everything was set and still we were unsure of how many exactly will turn up.. There was always butterflies were flying in our stomach..

Lets go bit personal to my journey to GV..

I decided to go on 10th may night so that I could spend more time friends. My initial plan was to take many friends from here but then that couldn't happen. So decided to drive from Bengaluru on Friday eve but then few of the friends wanted to come on Saturday morning so decided to tag along with them and drive. After all driving alone and driving with company is fun. I started at 8am in the morning an and picked both of the friends and started sailing to the dream destination. It was me meeting them after long time and not close types so I was hoping journey shouldn't become feel never ending. But they were gracious to accommodate me. We bought jack fruit in between since I was hungry. I thought I will eat while driving since it is bit difficult to eat from one hand. Before I think any thing one friend started giving the jack fruit in peace's after removing everything and I just have to eat it. It was non stop and felt overwhelmed. These small things matter to me, that too when it comes without asking. That's how amazing company i was having during the drive. By that time this new Sai temple we have arrived at which I haven’t seen it before. So we decided to take blessings of SaiRam.. Here are the some glimpses..

By the time we crossed Hospete and nearing Kopal, road was nice. It was smooth sailing, almost no traffic. We started getting calls from Jaggu asking where are we and how soon we are reaching etc. It was lunch time around 2pm. One of the friends asked have I seen Gavi Siddeshwara Matha, which I didn't know it was existing. She insisted we go to that Matha. But Jaggu wanted us to reach early. I told him that this the plan we are doing, he was furious and asked nothing doing and come directly. I haven't experience person who waits for me that eagerly. Which was giving immense happiness knowing that some one is waiting to see me. Half heartedly turned right to Koppala. Went to the matha and fortunately and unfortunately the security guard didn't allow me inside since I was wearing shorts. We were disappointed and decided to go for lunch. We were particular about having rotti oota in Khanavali only so searched for one and decided to eat. Rotti oota was scrumptious. After that we enjoyed eating pan. Eating pan in Bengaluru and eating here is different feeling. You don't get that satisfaction here. Eating all this in that heat is different fun altogether..

After lunch. We started to Gadag, It was 75 km more. By the time clouds started gathering and sun days started come down piercing the clouds. The sight it self was so welcoming and giving us the right signs. 

We reached Gadag- Mudrana Kashi..

This above welcome sign has different feeling. 

We have asked to reached at Lotus in in Gadag. So we finally reached and parked ourself and waited for Jaggu. We couldn't inform the exact time so he was furious that he was not there before us. He came in matter of time and we checked in to the Hotel.

We were instructed already that we should be in st johns by 4 pm. We got ready and reached our final destination.

                                                          (From no where to somewhere)     

Already few of us were there and we joined. I was in the zone by then. I was trying enjoy everything. Slowly all of us came and started meeting each other. I don't easily socialise. Its difficult for me. By then jaggu said lets go and get the Mirchi baji and Girmit. It was the best excuse for me to get away for Introductions etc. So we went had Tea and got everything and came back. By then every one was standing in front. I was feeling some what uneasy. Since didn't meet and don't know any one much. I was avoiding the eye contact so that I save my self. Then had to face it. Slowly started interreacting one by one. Thanked friend for helping by giving notes etc. I didn't know what I was talking. Then skipped most of them and started arranging seats for all so that we could sit and eat Mirchi in the cloudy weather.

                                                        

This pic has different place in guys heart..

and in mine too..

Everything went on smoothly we felt but there has to be some hiccups for any function or program to happen. Without it will not complete. So we too had major hiccups and embarrassment at the at the end of that evening. We friends were ashamed. Within matter of seconds we started feeling down and our confidence started shaking. Some how we managed to control the situation and sent all friends home assuring the tomorrows GV will be good. But their faces were telling different stories. We thought the will not turn up tomorrow. If they don't then this will not be successful. Some how reassured them and sent them home. After that we started preparing plan B. So plan B was in place and we were determined that we will do GV any how. There has to be sun shine after darkness. We had some what ok night and we were ready embrace THE day.

Next day morning I have got a call that All is well and we will go for Plan A. Which was refreshing news. We reached St Johns at 8am and prayed to Mother Merry to bless this GV to go smoothly.

We started the GV as per the plan and as you all the how everything went smoothly. By then I was taken back seat. I wanted enjoy every bit of it. As usual we sat in back bench. We had fun seeing for the back as usual. One should experience to enjoy our feeling. You will get to see 360 view and get to who is doing what and who is sitting who's side and who taking picture with whom. 

By then GV was on auto pilot. It was sailing smoothly as per the plans and pilots were assigned take care if some turbulence comes. Cutting short to most of the function since you guys know or can see here.. some times pictures speak for it self.. 

Jumping back to 2nd half of the function. I think this we needed the most. We did plan for this but we didn't knew how it will be. But trust we have got more than we expected. Specially girls set stage on fire. All kudos to the girls gang who kept their hesitation aside and came together to celebrate GV. 

Cant thank more for everything which happened.

The departure is the hardest every time which i did like it. But the story or dream should end somewhere. Unwillingly we shut the curtains down. Said good byes to all our friends. 

Final feeling for some of is, This GV is once in for life time memory. It may not happen in future. Even if it happens then it may not happen like this. Some where hopeful to see each other again somewhere not. With that heavy heart we all departed. 

But but my story did not end here... 

We continued with our fun, since we wanted have some more fun. So we friends got together at that night in our room had some great fun.

After spending some quality time we departed and promised ourself to hang out more times in coming future.

I stayed that day since I don't get satisfied easily so from Monday morning we started having some fun. Visited Iconic Viranaryana Temple with friend, did bullet ride of the city. I couldn't cover as much as I wanted to cover but kept it some for next time..

By that time friends were waiting for me to join them. So we had some fun times with cherishing GV. We were let loose to do whatever we wanted. Shared some personal stories(ring stories), sang and danced together. 

We went for lunch at Jaggu house. We had Holige and shikarni oota.. Food was amazing.. It was long pending..

It was 7pm eve by then. I had drive and this time I had to drive alone. Some time we don't value the company. Finally said bye to jaggu, sanju motagi, mayya and gokak. I was overwhelmed by everything. Never wanting leave them and forced bid adieu..

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